I broke one of my own rules tonight.

I went windsurfing alone.

No buddy system: just me.

I got a text from Phil that he was heading to the ocean for a sail or [if the wind didn’t come up] a surf. I was busy, all day; I even forgot to eat. So at 3:00 when I saw the wind come up, I just wanted to go.

I tried to text Phil, but saw on LIwindsurfer that Sasha was powered up at Heckscher on a mid six sail. So I decided to go for the sure thing. I later discovered that Phil had a great ocean session; so I wish I had gone to Gilgo with him. But by the time I found that out, I was on my way home.

I arrived at Heckscher at 5:00. I saw everyone was on 6.5ish sails, so I rigged my 6.9 Ezzy, and the 125 ltr Sumo. I was way powered, to overpowered in the gusts. I thought of going back in and switching boards, but I didn’t want to waste the time. It gets dark shortly after 7:00; so I knew it was now or never. After about an hour, I realized that everyone had left, and gone home. I was alone in the Great South Bay, just blasting.

And I thought…Sailing alone at dusk is dangerous. But not nearly as dangerous as continuing to work across the street from the former World Trade Center after 911. I’m sure people who saw me from shore might have thought, “what is that guy doing, sailing out there all by himself, in the rain?”, “that’s crazy”. No. I think watching the progress at Ground Zero from my office window…that was crazy. I didn’t know any better. I thought I was doing my part, if I didn’t, I was told, ”the terrorists will win”. So I went to work every day. Wiped down the 1/8 inch of dust that would accumulate on my desk each night. And what was the point? We didn’t even have working telephones. I had a $1,500 cell phone bill for 3 straight months. Yes my company paid it; but that’s crazy.

Watching the snipers on the roof when I bought my egg and cheese an a roll each morning; that’s crazy. Breathing air that’s not safe, when your Government tells you it is; that’s crazy. I always used to get Tonsillitis if I had a cold that dragged on too long. Now, I get a sinus infection every year. And I have a friend who gets chronic pneumonia. What was the point.

In 2006 I found work here on the Island. After 20+ years; no more commute to the City.

I didn’t see the towers fall. I felt it. I smelled it. I breathed in the souls of 3,000 people. I’ve never published these photos, shot from my office window before.

So danger and crazy is all relative. I am only happy when I am in the water. No time to think; just act; just be. I’m glad I’m alive. But I need to live…I need to remember, how to live...

I will never forget.